At the risk of getting stepped on, I think most people don't enjoy the best of discussions, and would rather enjoy the worst of discussions. Here is one for worst outfielder. Still a couple months before most of our northern guys get going on our season.

No doubt, Buck Dropsalot will top the list.

ME!

Can't Catch

Can't Throw

Can't Run

Can't Hit

Jimmy "Mine-Mine-Yours" should be in the running.

glovedad

I think I played with Jimmy a few years ago!

There have been a couple outfielders I have played with that the wives named One Hop and 50/50.

I told Jimmy that if he called it, he had to take it. He thought I was being a little uptight. It cramped his style he said.

Donnie Didn't-know-he-had-a-Miken tops my list (hard to fault him, some say, because how can you read a label from center field?). Never mind that when Mikens were new, the catcher bellowed out for every batter using the new technology. Luckily, Donnie was a pretty fast runner when hits went over his head, so usually the batter only got a triple out of it.

Chain link Charlie, parked at 299.99' from home plate was another Hall of Famer. Nobody burned Chain link Charlie and he held most singles to a double or triple.

The outfielder that could easily win this award has a name that is French or Middle Eastern or maybe a combination of both. He's totally useless in the outfield. I'm not sure of the correct spelling of his name, but I think it's Ishudda Haddit.

This guy is the WORST!

excellent names, I think we have an all star team.

Co-ed team had Willy Makeit in Lf flanked by Betty Wont...always a comunication issue...

Well it's a strange old game - you learn it slow
One step forward and it's back to go
You're standing on the throttle
You're standing on the breaks
In the groove 'til you make a mistake

Sometimes you're the windshield
Sometimes you're the bug
Sometimes it all comes together baby
Sometimes you're a fool in love
Sometimes you're the louisville slugger
Sometimes you're the ball
Sometimes it all comes together baby
Sometimes you're going to lose it all

You gotta know happy - you gotta know glad
Because you're gonna know lonely
And you're gonna know bad
When you're rippin' and a ridin'
And you're coming on strong
You start slippin' and slidin'
And it all goes wrong.........

BRAKES

I know this poem is long, hopefully it is ok for the board. I wrote it awhile back and this thred reminded me of it, so here it is.


OUTFIELDER’S LAMENT

Oh dear…!!!
My fault
My bad
That was a ball
I maybe shoulda’…
Kinda coulda’…
Probably woulda’ …had.

If only….well…you know…..

We had a lot
Of rain today.
I did not think
We would even play.

My team was short
And I was late.
There was a batter
At the plate

I will not make
An excuse.
But I had no time
To get loose.

Where I was standing
Was soaking wet
And our pitcher pitched
Before I was set

The outfield grass
Had not been cut.
I nearly fell
On my you-know-what.
\



I am not sure
Where this fits in.
But our shortstop did
Move me in.

That ball was by me
In nothing flat
He must have used
An illegal bat

There was a crosswind blowing
So there was no way
Of anyone knowing
Where the heck the ball was going.

When I reached
The warning track.
I think I tweaked
My lower back.

I know I heard
Someone shout.
“There’s the fence,
So watch out.”

I cannot tell
You a lie.
I think the sun
Got in my eye.

I also had
To turn and run
And I lost the ball
In the sun.

It was bouncing
Up and down.
And somehow I
Got turned around.

There were no clouds
And the sky was high
I pulled a muscle
In my thigh

I am not trying
To beat the rap
But that ball was hit
Right in the gap.

And I heard Willie
Say-Hey I got it.
Else I’m sure I
Woulda’ caught it.

I know there is
No I in me.
What matters most
Is team chemistry.

So never make
An alibi
Is the motto
I live by.

Oh, the wind, and the rain
And the warning track
The sun, the sky
And my sore ole’ back.

Our pitcher, our shortstop
And my outfield mate
The fence, the grass
And me getting there late

Were it not for a few
Little things like this
That’s a ball
I’d never miss.

glovedad

WOW!

You wrote a great poem!

I really enjoyed it.

Thanks for sharing....

Every outfielder should have this Poem in their one back pocket. Then they can,say "I GOT IT"!
Tomar77

Glad you enjoyed the poem. Thanks

Years ago, our LCfielder was running hard toward the fence, looking back for the ball and our RCfielder yelled "plenty of room" just before the LCfielder's forehead connected with the top crossbar of the fence. Knocked him out. For the rest of the year, whenever a fly ball was hit, the entire team yelled "plenty of room"!

How about all those guys that always seem to be rolling on the ground way too many times going after fly balls.

I agree with glovedad...fence hugger is way too prevalent esp in senior softball..it cost us both money games last tournament..there are more doubles in front of people then over their heads..and most seniors will only get 2 if they beat someone anyhow..so get some courage and play up a little and steal some hits